Daily Archives: October 23, 2008

i just can’t get enough…of myself

i have masturbated 4 times today, and will probably have another before i go to bed tonight.

i woke up at 4:45 AM even though i didn’t get to bed until 1:30 AM because it got too hot in my room.  so i opened the window and got a glass of water and pulled out my laptop and started writing.  by then i was wide awake so i figured pulling out good ol’ big red (aka my vibrator) would be an easy way to get back to sleep.  i did get tired, but decided instead i wanted to watch the today show.

after 30 minutes of matt and meredith, i switched the channel and got caught up in the world of zack morris, kelly kapowski, ac slater, lisa turtle and screech powers.  after 3 episodes of that i decided to give big red a try again.  got off again but still didn’t want to sleep.

by this time it’s about 9 AM so i figured i would make breakfast which i never do for myself.  made some scrambled eggs and bacon and put on an episode of cold case i had on my dvr (love that show).  ended up actually pausing during the last 4 minutes because i wanted to masturbate again.  did it, then watched the last 4 minutes of the program.

decided to go through all the old random programs i had on my dvr that i had not yet watched.  ended up doing a 3 hour marathon of the real housewives of atlanta.  after i was done, figured i would take a shower.  when i got out of the shower, i was totally turned on by my naked body so had one more session before the clothes went on for good.

this is not the most i’ve ever masturbated in a single day, but it was interesting for a random thursday morning.  next time i will try to get off with my hands only.  that is a real challenge for me because i have relied on my vibrator for so many years, but it’s a challenge i’m willing to accept.

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pageant girls gone wild

i just finished watching Beauty Queens Gone Wrong: 15 Pageant Scandals on E! and i’m not afraid to admit that it was a great way to waste 120 minutes. but it also left me a bit confused as to why the pageant world is so conservative.

almost every scandal that led to the dethroning of these girls was because they showed their private girly bits either in playboy, myspace photos, or the always regrettable home photos shot by the (now) ex-boyfriend.

i find it so funny however, that some our biggest celebs had their careers enhanced by sex tapes, nip slips and “britney” shots. celebs are way more influential than beauty queens. who the hell has even watched a pageant in the last 15-20 years!

i think the pageant world needs to get real and stop pretending that girls that compete in pageants are wholesome, virginal girls. they are hot chicks, who have probably been hot their entire lives and have been working it since they could crawl. as barack said “you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”

but then again, if there were no rules to break, then great shows like beauty queens gone wrong couldn’t exist, so perhaps i’ll stop complaining.

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WORST CONTEST EVER!!!

an organization in Atlanta, GA by the name of Marriage Appreciation Training Uplifting Relationship Education, is having a contest entitled “Marriage for a Lifetime.” a bride and groom have to submit a 600 word essay and they can win a $10,000 wedding. sounds awesome right! WRONG.

in order to win the contest, you must be a couple who has not engaged in premarital sex.

how many entries has this contest received? ZERO.

the idea that this organization wants you to have a LIFETIME of marriage with someone, yet doesn’t want you to even see what they are working with down there is absolutely ridiculous.

and besides, $10,000 for a wedding isn’t even that much. i’ve known chicks who have spent 10K on the dress alone.

the deadline for this contest is October 31st, just over a week away, and the fact that they have not seen a single entry makes me laugh. and of course the organization is freaking out and is now inclined to “relax” the rules a bit to get some entries.

Phillippia Faust, director of an abstinence education program for Rockdale, DeKalb and Newton counties, was quoted in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution saying:

“Couples engaging in sex can still qualify but they must acknowledge, “The right choice is probably not to have had done it.”

SCARY.

however, couples who are living together are still BANNED from the contest because apparently that is just beyond unacceptable.

OH, and did I mention that in addition to remaining sex-free for this contest, the winning couple must also agree to a DRY, i’m talking completely alcohol-free wedding! AND, you must undergo premarital education, AND you must agree to open up the ceremony to the PUBLIC!!!

this organization is clearly living in 1975 when $10,000 meant something. you can apply to be on a reality tv show and walk away with more dough than that AND less terms.

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