Daily Archives: October 27, 2008

apathy = vagina closed for business

there is a guy i’ve liked for quite a while.  we are more than friends, but not a couple.  we don’t have sex, but we sleep together.  we take vacations together, but go dutch.  we like to refer to our relationship as a rube goldberg.

deep down i believe he is my soulmate, but the other day i felt that everything we had built could come crumbling down.  all the feelings and attraction i had for him temporarily vanished when he said the following thing to me: 


he has never, and according to him, will never vote because “what’s the difference.  all those guys are the same.”  now, there are so many things wrong with that statement that i won’t get into here, but what i want to ask you is: “can i possibly have sex with someone who doesn’t vote?”

i know the simple answer is yes.  if a person is hot, they are hot.  but what means more to you when you sleep with people – their looks or their mind?  there are so many good things about this guy, and i’ve never been a particularly political person.  but the fact remains that voting is just something that all people HAVE to do.  it’s like getting a drivers license or going to the doctor.  responsible people just DO those things.

the truth is, if he voted for mccain, i would have been way more pissed than him not voting at all.   and an additional truth is, no matter what, this guy will be a part of my life forever whether we eventually become a couple or not.  but this did open my eyes to how quickly a person’s sexiness level can go down over some basic things.

i’m curious, what are some of your sex dealbreakers?



Filed under oversexed & underserved

computer love and the 34 year old virgin

online dating has always weirded me out. but when a friend of mine convinced me to try a particular site because “it was different than the others” i figured it was worth a try. i’d been meeting men here and there, but hadn’t been on a proper first date in quite a while and saw it as an easy way to accomplish that.

so about 3 months ago i signed up for “the best dating site on earth” and much like the live dating world, was instantly approached by a bunch of men who wanted to get in my pants. meeting a guy in a bar and going home with him just feels more comfortable than meeting a guy online and getting into bed with him. it’s probably the alcohol, but i also truly believe that a woman’s intuition works best when face to face. so bottom line, i abandoned the online dating crusade.

but yesterday, while doing laundry and watching some amazing reality tv, i got the itch to go back on the site. the first guy to email me got ignored immediately at first because his profile picture was of him blowing a kiss. but i decided not to be a total bitch and read his message. he actually seemed like a pretty nice guy, and was the first guy to just simply ask me out on a date. i am a little annoyed that he is a vegetarian, but i’m willing to overlook that, and am considering accepting his offer.

the second guy to message decided to IM me while i was online. this annoyed me because i didn’t want to get caught up in a conversation with someone for hours, but he had some interesting things to say, so i stuck with it. he’s 34, an artist, was pretty cute, and before i knew it, we were in a 2 hour conversation. the whole thing seemed actually promising. but then, he dropped 2 huge bombs on me.

he still lives with his parents

he’s a virgin

i could probably overlook the parent thing if a guy was worth it. but as much as i wanted to be ok with the virgin thing, i just couldn’t. his explanation was that he’s done everything but the penetration. but i couldn’t understand why. if you have had girlfriends in the past who you care about, and you are at 3rd base, why aren’t you sliding into home? a man’s nature is to want to provide, protect, and get pussy!

as much as i want to pretend i could be like the catherine keener character in 40 year old virgin, i just don’t know if i have it in me. and the reality is, while the premise is hilarious on a movie screen, being faced with the reality in real life is not humorous at all. and besides, after all the sex i’ve had, i almost feel guilty even talking to a virgin, it feels illegal.

maybe i’m being judgmental, and stubborn, and unwilling to try something new. or maybe my women’s intuition is dead on in telling me that a 34 year old virgin is not the man for me. what i have learned is that a guy telling me he is a vegetarian isn’t the worst “v” word to hear.


Filed under oversexed & underserved