if you want to find out who your true friends are, then lose your job. trust me, through all these years and countless numbers of people i’ve called friends, getting laid off last week was the most efficient way to weed out the ones who weren’t real from the ones who truly love me.
i was watching that movie, the beach, with leo dicaprio this morning, and there was one scene that struck me and reminded me of my own situation. it’s when those swedish guys got attacked by a shark. one of the guys was dead as soon as they brought him back to shore. the other guy was still alive, but his wounds were so severe, it was clear he wouldn’t make it. but he wouldn’t die right away, and as he cried out in pain and lay slowly dying in front of the others, they just couldn’t take it, so they carried him out into the forest to die alone so they wouldn’t have to face the reality.
the people i once confided in and trusted, feel such guilt about the situation that i’m in (and some because they helped contribute to me being here) that they can’t even talk to me and want to forget i even existed. but this last week i’ve received so many emails from fans of the show that want to know what happened, and why i’m not around, and how they can hear the conclusions to some lingering stories in my life, and that made me realize that i can’t just let those others banish me to the wild, never to be heard from again.
so starting very soon, i will be uploading my own radio show to this blog also called “the talk of shame.” it will be a continuation of the things i love to share – my sex life, the “hot pocket”, and sex advice. plus much more, like my reality tv obsession, my secret wish to be a madam, and my love for gay porn. this will have to start as a podcast initially, but hopefully with your support and time, i will soon be on the air again where i love to be.
i remember several months ago one of my “friends” saying to me, “keshia, if you ever find me making a podcast, kill me. podcasts are for desperate losers.” so i guess it’s a good thing he decided to remove himself from my friendship list, because i’ve made his “loser” list. but i’m ok with that, as long as i’m having fun with the people who give a shit.
check back after thanksgiving weekend for the show. in the meantime i will continue to write about the randomness that is my life.