i know this economy is in the shitter when someone like me gets laid off. i have never lost a job in my life. usually bosses try to bribe me to stay when i want to move on. so the fact that i’m applying for unemployment is a very telling tale.
so while i am bitter and angry, i’ve decided to use my time and severance pay wisely and do all those things that one can never when they have to work:
1. crab crackin’ mondays at red lobster
2. happy hour at lure fishbar in soho (best fucking raw oysters, shrimp tempura, and grapefruit margaritas EVER)
3. movies, movies movies (i still haven’t even seen the dark knight for god’s sake)
4. museums – only the one’s that are free or have a suggested donation. i have no shame in handing that art major asshole behind the register a dollar bill to see some of the greatest works of art in the world
5. statue of liberty and staten island ferry – i don’t actually want to get off and touch staten island, but i heard the ferry ride is fun
6. hang out with my buddies ron and fez
7. make my bath and body products – people have been missing my amazing lip balms and shea butter creams. i owe them lots and lots of moisture.
9. go gold digging. this is probably the best time to look for a sugar daddy