claire bartel didn’t like it. why do you?

the-hand-that-rocks-the-cradle

my friend just revealed what may be the single most disturbing piece of information i’ve ever let enter my external auditory meatus:

she has a super hot male gynecologist who she is totally crushin’ on, and likes having a hot guy who sticks things in her woo-haa because since she’s so turned on by him, it keeps her nice and wet and lubed

i’ll let you sit with that for a minute……………………………………………………………………………….

ok first, male gyno – GROSS

second, hot male gyno – KILL ME

the last person i want to tell me that i have a slight yeast infection, or that those blisters down there look like herpes, or that the strong odor emitting from my crotch is bacterial vaginosis – IS A FUCKING HOT GUY THAT I WANT TO BANG

not only does she let him do his gyno business down there, they also have a great relationship and share “war stories” – she tells him about the time a condom got lost inside her – he tells her about the time he was a resident and delivered a baby with a blue condom stuck to it’s head

everything about this relationship is wrong, wrong, wrong. i just feel that your gyno should be a women in her mid to late 30’s who is like the sister that won’t judge you (at least not to your face), and will give you free packets of fluconazole. when my nipples get hard during the breast exam, my doctor knows it’s because the room is freezing, not because i want to get pounded on the examining table (while that does actually sound totally hot, it’s one of those fantasies that should never become a reality – see also: threesome, see also: gang bang)

i hope for her sake that her pap results come back all clear, because there is probably nothing that can extinguish an indecent affair faster than the guy you lust after telling you that you have warts.

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1 Comment

Filed under oversexed & underserved

One response to “claire bartel didn’t like it. why do you?

  1. sexualnature

    This is so funny because I literally switched doctors after the first visit the first time I encountered a male GYN. His beady little eyes probing my vagina freaked me out. He looked like he was enjoying it way too much. I mean what happens when the doctor has a thing for you? Now he pretty much gets to finger you…skeevy. Could be all in my head but you never know.

    Wow. The baby had a condom attached to his head? I wonder how the mother felt about that. There’s a childhood story you never want share with your grandchildren…

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