balls are weird. period.
i’ve tried very hard to understand them. but just can’t. balls are distinctly a male thing.
i’ve spent several years perfecting my fellatio. and after all that time, i truly do believe i understand the penis inside and out. but when it comes to balls, i’ll admit it, i’m a little lost. i know if i lick them, men like it. and i know if i play with them, gently run my nails over them, juggle them around for a bit, etc. that generally, guys are pleased. but when i see them up close and personal, all of that goes out the window because i really just don’t like them.
my last boyfriend had these super snug balls. the skin fit nice and tight around them, and they were on the smaller side, so i could fit both of them comfortably in my mouth. these were probably some of the best balls i’ve come across, but truly the only ones i could say i liked.
one guy i slept with recently, however, had so much “ball sack” to work with, i didn’t really know where to begin. i mean they weren’t cisco adler big (nsfw & gag!) but they were pretty sufficient. when i licked them, i felt like a kitten trying to bathe a lion, when i played with them, it felt like i had a pound of semi-melted play-doh in my hand, and there was no way in hell they were going to fit easily in my mouth. so i abandoned the cause entirely and focused on what i do best…giving him the best head ever. but i felt defeated.
some girls i know would say to me “who cares! i don’t even touch the balls.” but that’s the problem. that is probably why so many of us are clueless in the ball arena. practice makes perfect. but guys aren’t really giving us a level playing field to work with, because balls are so drastically different from guy to guy. if a penis is small (it sucks) but when giving head you know how to change your tactics to make it work for you and deep throating is a cinch! when a guy is too big (ha. i know) it’s even better because you have challenges and goals to achieve when faced with it. but balls can have so many issues. too small – creepy. too big – terrifying. too saggy – a mess. missing one – you’re fucking lance armstrong.
i don’t have only bad things to say about balls though. i’ll admit one of the best feelings in the world is getting slapped in the pussy with a set of balls while being plowed from behind doggy-style, but not every guy can do that.
then again, not every girl can bury an entire penis between her tits and make a guy come. size does matter.