Monthly Archives: April 2010

i’ve heard of cocaine cowboys, but cocaine coochie?

in pam grier’s new memior she talks about how during a trip to the vag doctor she discovered she had the most expensive coochie on earth.  here’s the tale as dlisted tells it (via jezebel via o hell nawl):

He said, “Pam, I want to tell you about an epidemic that’s prevalent in Beverly Hills right now. It’s a buildup of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. You have it. Are you doing drugs?”

“No,” I said, astonished.

“Well, it’s really dangerous,” he went on. “Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?”

“No,” I said, “not that I know of. It’s not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex.” I had a nauseating flash of one of Richard’s famous lines: Even my dick has a cocaine jones.

“Are you sure he isn’t doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?” the doctor asked.

“That’s a possibility,” I said. “You know, I am dating Richard Pryor.”

“Oh, my God,” he said. “We have a serious problem here. If he’s not putting it on his skin directly, then it’s worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid.”

The doctor then asks her if her mouth went numb while performing oral sex on Pryor, which she says it did, and which he links to the Novocaine-like effects of cocaine.

a) i had no idea pam grier ever dated richard pryor and b) does anybody know which toys-r-us sells the wonderful board game above?

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is there such thing as a hot nudist?

as a kid i was fascinated by the idea of going to my first nude beach.  a strange thought perhaps for a kid, but when you have a set of C cups at the age of 12, you tend to become sexualized at a bit sooner than your peers.  (it probably didn’t help that i had cable in my room and regularly watched HBO’s real sex).

the topless beach fantasies soon subsided, however, when i realized the type of people nudists “truly” are.  the reality is that a majority of nudists look less like gisele bundchen and tom brady, and more like soon yi previn and woody allen.  and while i would never judge one for being comfortable in the skin they’re in, the truth did dash my hopes of ever happening upon a naked george clooney type while strolling the sands in my birthday suit.

this past weekend, forty five members a group called british naturism took over the island of flat holm in the bristol channel.  as the bbc reported, the naturists spent the weekend sampling “a wealth of history and wildlife during their visit.”  oh that’s nice.

but as the sun (aka the british version of the ny post) reports THIS is what was really going down.

conclusion.  no one should be judged.  because underneath all the clothes, everyone is the same – they all look like americans.

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Filed under fetishes, leftovers, what's in the news today