life of the singledame: chapter 427

there are very specific times when i hate being single.

during holidays (HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!!!!  I’M WASTED AND WANNA BANG SOMEONE I’M ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO! )

when everyone around me is in a relationship  (LAUREN, KIA AND I ARE GOING TO DINNER WITH JASON, CHRIS AND STEVE.  WANNA GO?)

and the WORST time to be single is when you have to kill something.  this is my horrific tale.

i decided to be an “adult” last night.  came home, did some yoga ball exercises, put dinner in the oven and started washing dishes.  all of these activities made me feel empowered, independent and like a true grown up.  and then it happened.

out from under the oven a tiny mouse scampers across my kitchen floor.

i did what any empowered, independent, grown ass woman would do.  screamed at the top of my lungs, ran to my bedroom and locked the door.

i endure horrible cramps every month.  i’ve changed the tire on a 6000 pound SUV, i even own a toolbox that handymen have told me they were jealous of.  but when it comes to bugs and rodents, i turn into a useless ball of goo, that runs and hides under the covers.  literally.

these weaknesses, however, are necessary because it’s important for a guy to be able to do things you can’t.  there’s no denying that the caveman “me: tarzan, you: jane, i take care of you” attitude is a major turn on.  no girl wants to be with a guy who she thinks can’t protect her.

and a sidenote to you guys.  i don’t care if you are with the strongest, most independent, scariest, loudest, no-nonsense bitch out there.  don’t take for granted that even she wants you to man up on those things that boys “should” do.  so even if things that  scare your girl, scare you just as much, if not more.  i suggest you fake it and fake it well, or she will find someone who can.

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1 Comment

Filed under life of the singledame, the keshia k. diary

One response to “life of the singledame: chapter 427

  1. heidi

    Oh, Keshia….perhaps you need a kitten….it is unfortunate that the mousie didn’t have a heart attack when you screamed…and hopefully the exterminator will have better luck!

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