Category Archives: fetishes

that chick cray

being that i’ve always had gigantic boobs, i’ve never understood the fascination with them.  they get in the way, you always have to wear a stupid bra, the older you get the faster they fall.  i would give 1/2 my boob size away in exchange for a bigger booty any day of the week.  but apparently everyone does not feel the same way as i.

meet sheyla hershey.  she recently appeared on TLC’s My Strange Addiction and in the last 13 years has gone from a B cup to a triple K.  she can’t even hug her own daughter her tits are so big, and see is looking to go to a triple M!

a word of advice to sheyla via men…more than a handful is just excess

 

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Filed under fetishes, today's twat, what's in the news today

is there somebody for everybody?

after reading this most disturbing story this weekend about  72-year old grandmother, Pearl Carter of Indiana, who is having her 26-year old biological grandson’s baby!  i first supressed to urge to immediately vomit, then began thinking about how many “bizarre” relationships are out there, and how do these people find one another?

when you see “unbalanced” or “odd” couples walking down the street your reaction is usually (particularly if you’re single) why and how?  but then in a way it gives you hope.  hope that there IS somebody for everybody and that you will find somebody too.

this was the case in the story of juan baptista dos santo and blanche dumas.

juan was born with two penises.  two fully functioning penises.  (and also a third leg, but when a man has two penises, are you really looking at his third leg?)  this man, who literally was a tripod, is said to have used BOTH penises during intercourse and after finishing with one he would continue with the other. he apparently also had an insatiable sexual appetite.

blanche dumas was believed to have been born on the island of martinique in 1860.  she also had a third leg (thank god for immunizations), and in addition to her two regular boobs, she had two extra tits right above her vagina!  or should i say vaginaS!  she had two vaginas, each of which had developed equal sensitivity.  EQUAL SENSITIVITY!

ladies, just imagine your orgasm squared.  i’ll give you a moment.

so juan and blanche met in paris, had a most amazing love affair, and each had finally found a partner to satisfy their sexual needs.

lesson?  actually there are two.  never give up on love and don’t be too quick to judge those “bizarre” couples.  because for them, they may have finally found the perfect “fit.”

to read more about dos santo and dumas, check out cogitz.com and YES there are pictures!

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Filed under fetishes, oversexed & underserved, what's in the news today

is there such thing as a hot nudist?

as a kid i was fascinated by the idea of going to my first nude beach.  a strange thought perhaps for a kid, but when you have a set of C cups at the age of 12, you tend to become sexualized at a bit sooner than your peers.  (it probably didn’t help that i had cable in my room and regularly watched HBO’s real sex).

the topless beach fantasies soon subsided, however, when i realized the type of people nudists “truly” are.  the reality is that a majority of nudists look less like gisele bundchen and tom brady, and more like soon yi previn and woody allen.  and while i would never judge one for being comfortable in the skin they’re in, the truth did dash my hopes of ever happening upon a naked george clooney type while strolling the sands in my birthday suit.

this past weekend, forty five members a group called british naturism took over the island of flat holm in the bristol channel.  as the bbc reported, the naturists spent the weekend sampling “a wealth of history and wildlife during their visit.”  oh that’s nice.

but as the sun (aka the british version of the ny post) reports THIS is what was really going down.

conclusion.  no one should be judged.  because underneath all the clothes, everyone is the same – they all look like americans.

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horse fuck man die

DarwinBookJacket_350

Those 4 little words in a google search brought me upon one of the sickest videos I’ve seen in a while.  Note: when you are wasted, don’t take advice from the other wasted people around you about stuff you should look up on the internet at 2 AM.  I digress…

A 45-year-old Seattle man died from something called acute peritonitis. His colon was perforated while he was having sex with a horse.

The man, who died before he was dropped off at Enumclaw Community Hospital, was traced back to a 40-acre farm where investigators found hundreds of hours of videotape depicting men, including the one who died, having sex with horses. He had bought the stallion earlier this year. His family told a reporter they were surprised at the purchase.

Click here to see the video.  I warn you, it is highly disturbing.

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“some guys like ’em real stinky”

FootFetish068

last night my friend and i ended up at a foot fetish party in the lower east side of manhattan.  i promised the owner i would keep the name of the club anonymous, so i will respect that.  now unfortuantely, because it was a wednesday night and i had planned to be at a dive bar, i was not exactly “foot fetish party” appropriate.  i had on ripped jeans, no pedicure and i had been wearing flip flops all day.  feet were not hot.  so i decided my friend should go into the VIP as my undercover agent and i would stay up front to get the scoop from the others.

we went to the bar across the street and cleaned her up, got her down to as little clothes as possible, and washed her feet in the bathroom sink.  we headed back and began our investigation.  the guys up front were far from attractive.  one guy who came up to talk to us was wearing one of those wolf shirts and a pair of narsty (yea i said narsty) sweatpants.  i, of course, had no time for his shenanigans, but the two eastern european “working girls” i was with were quick to make him feel like he was brad pitt.

working girl 1 – “oh what’s that on your shirt?”

narsty guy – “it’s a wolf”

working girls 1 & 2 – “OHHHH”

narsty guy – “but i really like tigers and black panthers the most”

working girls 1 & 2 – “oh yea”

narsty guy – “RRRRR” (makes a big cat roaring sound)

that was when i decided to move to a second group of girls, who were discussing how to make the most money from these guys.  the conversation was pretty standard (in the foot fetish financial world) until one of them started talking about the type of shoes she was wearing:

warren buffet foot fetish girl 1 – “yea, i didn’t even wear open toed shoes, so guys aren’t really knowing what to do”

warren buffet foot fetish girl 2 – “it doesn’t matter cause you’re so fucking hot”

warren buffet foot fetish girl 1 – “yea, but my feet are getting all sweaty and stuff”

warren buffet foot fetish girl 2 – “some guys like ’em real stinky!”

warren buffet foot fetish girls 1 & 2 – BIG SIMULTANEOUS LAUGHS FROM BOTH

after these two encounters, i felt that i had learned all i needed to about the world of “footies” and decided it was time to go, but i realized my friend had still not come back so i sat around texting and entertaining myself.  when she finally returned there was a different look in her eyes.  MY UNDERCOVER AGENT HAD GONE ROGUE AND LET A MAN MASSAGE HER FEET!  I knew I had lost her.  so I said my goodbyes, told her to make that rent and jumped on the subway back home.

but of course this morning I got all the details:

– she only made $20, because she talks so much that she actually ended up befriending most of the men she encountered and didn’t work it like I told her she should.

– there were NBA stars in the club paying to lick women’s feet.  goes with my theory that the rich get bored easily and always have to find something new to turn them on.

– this party is every week, and men actually come from hundreds of miles a way to hook up with their same favorites every time.

– 10 minutes of “making love” to a foot = $20 (Seems like a bit of a rip off to me)

– those Craigslists ads asking for women with pretty feet…yea that’s probably the promoter of this party look for new girls to “put on the track”

– according to at least 3 of the men she encountered, including the creator of this party, my friend has some of the prettiest damn feet around.

i’ll admit, even though i don’t want a guy wearing a wolf t-shirt licking my foot for 10 minutes, i can think of worse ways to pay the bills.  i think my friend has officially become a fetish fan and will be returning to more parties and of course, i will have to join her.  i will come prepared next time though, a fresh pedi, a pair of kick ass open toed shoes, and some crisco.

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