Category Archives: hot chick stuff

will bush ever make a comeback?

madonnas-nude-photo-isnt-cheap

if you were expecting to read a political article, please close the page quickly because what i’m about to discuss is nothing of the sort.  the question i have today is really about MY bush – or should i say the lack there of.

i’ve been waxing my “lady business” bald for several years now.  it’s become as routine as buying tampons.  recently my aunt, who manages a spa, told me she could get me free laser hair removal treatments.  of course, i’m so excited and want to do it because it’s not everyday someone offers you what probably amounts to a couple thousand dollars in free spa services.  but i also wonder if it’s possible that hairy va-jay-jay’s will ever be considered “the norm” again.

remember this NSFW lee friedlander photo of madonna?  while madonna is, and probably always will be, a sex symbol, i’m having a hard time believing that a bush like that could ever be considered sexy again.  on one hand there is something extremely powerful and natural about it.  but on the other hand i keep thinking about this german women i saw while vacationing in thailand – her bush protruding from all sides of her bathing suit – and how it made me want to vomit.

i’ve always hated hair.  even as a kid i remember having my “MONK” moments, and having to make sure there was no hair in the tub before i even stepped foot in the shower.  and don’t even get me started on hair that is left on bar soap.  so i could be biased in my belief that all unneccessary hair should be permanently removed.  so what do you think?

should bush be banished?

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Filed under hot chick stuff, leftovers, the keshia k. diary

“some guys like ’em real stinky”

FootFetish068

last night my friend and i ended up at a foot fetish party in the lower east side of manhattan.  i promised the owner i would keep the name of the club anonymous, so i will respect that.  now unfortuantely, because it was a wednesday night and i had planned to be at a dive bar, i was not exactly “foot fetish party” appropriate.  i had on ripped jeans, no pedicure and i had been wearing flip flops all day.  feet were not hot.  so i decided my friend should go into the VIP as my undercover agent and i would stay up front to get the scoop from the others.

we went to the bar across the street and cleaned her up, got her down to as little clothes as possible, and washed her feet in the bathroom sink.  we headed back and began our investigation.  the guys up front were far from attractive.  one guy who came up to talk to us was wearing one of those wolf shirts and a pair of narsty (yea i said narsty) sweatpants.  i, of course, had no time for his shenanigans, but the two eastern european “working girls” i was with were quick to make him feel like he was brad pitt.

working girl 1 – “oh what’s that on your shirt?”

narsty guy – “it’s a wolf”

working girls 1 & 2 – “OHHHH”

narsty guy – “but i really like tigers and black panthers the most”

working girls 1 & 2 – “oh yea”

narsty guy – “RRRRR” (makes a big cat roaring sound)

that was when i decided to move to a second group of girls, who were discussing how to make the most money from these guys.  the conversation was pretty standard (in the foot fetish financial world) until one of them started talking about the type of shoes she was wearing:

warren buffet foot fetish girl 1 – “yea, i didn’t even wear open toed shoes, so guys aren’t really knowing what to do”

warren buffet foot fetish girl 2 – “it doesn’t matter cause you’re so fucking hot”

warren buffet foot fetish girl 1 – “yea, but my feet are getting all sweaty and stuff”

warren buffet foot fetish girl 2 – “some guys like ’em real stinky!”

warren buffet foot fetish girls 1 & 2 – BIG SIMULTANEOUS LAUGHS FROM BOTH

after these two encounters, i felt that i had learned all i needed to about the world of “footies” and decided it was time to go, but i realized my friend had still not come back so i sat around texting and entertaining myself.  when she finally returned there was a different look in her eyes.  MY UNDERCOVER AGENT HAD GONE ROGUE AND LET A MAN MASSAGE HER FEET!  I knew I had lost her.  so I said my goodbyes, told her to make that rent and jumped on the subway back home.

but of course this morning I got all the details:

– she only made $20, because she talks so much that she actually ended up befriending most of the men she encountered and didn’t work it like I told her she should.

– there were NBA stars in the club paying to lick women’s feet.  goes with my theory that the rich get bored easily and always have to find something new to turn them on.

– this party is every week, and men actually come from hundreds of miles a way to hook up with their same favorites every time.

– 10 minutes of “making love” to a foot = $20 (Seems like a bit of a rip off to me)

– those Craigslists ads asking for women with pretty feet…yea that’s probably the promoter of this party look for new girls to “put on the track”

– according to at least 3 of the men she encountered, including the creator of this party, my friend has some of the prettiest damn feet around.

i’ll admit, even though i don’t want a guy wearing a wolf t-shirt licking my foot for 10 minutes, i can think of worse ways to pay the bills.  i think my friend has officially become a fetish fan and will be returning to more parties and of course, i will have to join her.  i will come prepared next time though, a fresh pedi, a pair of kick ass open toed shoes, and some crisco.

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Filed under fetishes, hot chick stuff, oversexed & underserved

pigtails = power

pigtails

i am officially wearing pigtails until i die.  who knew that such a childish hairstyle could make one so desirable to the opposite sex?  i guess porn stars and strippers knew.  but i don’t typically take me life advice from those women, and perhaps that’s where i went wrong.

last saturday i woke up severely hungover after a night with 3 british blokes who plied me with beer and whiskey.  it was raining, my head hurt and i was expected to meet some friends.  by the time 4:00 rolled around i had yet to even shower or brush my teeth, but i had to start this night’s festivities by 6:00.

because i keep my windows open year round, the humidity from the rain was permeating my apartment and my hair was a giant ‘fro mess.  i tried to flat iron it.  no success.  i tried to put it in a single ponytail to the back.  stupid looking.  so i decided to try pigtails.

best decision i’ve made in the last 2 years.

within in the last 4 days of wearing these pigtails i’ve had: 14+ sexual propositions, 50+ comments on the street about how hot i am, at least 100+ more stares than i typically get from men on the street, and 1 guy who actually got down on his knees and proposed to me in the streets of manhattan.  as far as records go, i’ve crushed ALL of my previous ones.

i don’t know what it is about women in pigtails that turns men gaga, but i don’t really care.  it works and that’s all that matters.

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Filed under hot chick stuff, the keshia k. diary