Category Archives: what's in the news today

that chick cray

being that i’ve always had gigantic boobs, i’ve never understood the fascination with them.  they get in the way, you always have to wear a stupid bra, the older you get the faster they fall.  i would give 1/2 my boob size away in exchange for a bigger booty any day of the week.  but apparently everyone does not feel the same way as i.

meet sheyla hershey.  she recently appeared on TLC’s My Strange Addiction and in the last 13 years has gone from a B cup to a triple K.  she can’t even hug her own daughter her tits are so big, and see is looking to go to a triple M!

a word of advice to sheyla via men…more than a handful is just excess

 

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The 27 Club just got a little cooler

RIP Amy

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………………….Today’s Twat………………….

Meet Bryan Sisco.  This weirdo thought the way to a woman’s heart was by threatening the lives of passengers aboard a commercial airlines flight.

The inebriated 40 year old man, decided to steal a seat next to a 23 year old woman on a Delta flight from Dallas to Atlanta.  After some weird exchanges and sharing of M&M’s, Sisco decided to show the woman his butane lighter that he was able to sneak on board, along with a device he claimed to be a taser and a canister that he said contained “gas strong enough to make everyone on the plane pass out.”

The woman got away from the creep by saying she had to use the bathroom, and passed a message on to the flight attendants about what had happened.  The plane made an emergency landing in Memphis where cops, dressed as paramedics, took Sisco into custody.

Delta has now banned this loser for LIFE, for which I say “Thank you Delta” since you are the only airline I have any frequent flier miles with.

Source: Jalopnik

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of all the things i love about new york…

the L train is absolutely NOT one of them.  it’s always overcrowded, breaks down a lot, and is usually filled with tiny, twat-faced scenesters.  and, according to the video below that was just recently shot, it’s also filled with male strippers in 4 inch pumps.

but of all the things i DO love about new york, one of them is what happens around minute 1:28 when the girl in the black dress gets on the train.  the look on her face is the same “seriously assholes, i haven’t even had my 3rd cup of coffee today yet, can you back up off me and let me get up on this train before you continue to ack up” look that i give to people every time i walk on to a train full of shenanigans.

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i’ve heard more about sex on the roof than sex on the beach

a pair of USC students were caught by cameras having sex on the rooftop of, what i assume, is a campus building.  this picture reminds me of all the random places i had to do it in college.  everyone in college has roommates, and even if your roommates weren’t home, it seemed like there was just always someone at your place either getting high between classes or eating your food.  so it actually is surprising to me that in california, when the weather is amazing year round, there isn’t MORE roof sex caught on camera.  while sometimes i curse that i live in a 6 floor walk-up in brooklyn, i do have amazing views facing manhattan, and these pictures are making me yearn for the spring weather!  click HERE to indulge in more rooftop fantasies.

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the goldenest of the girls

goodbye blanche.  you were my inspiration.  my hero.  and the golden girl i will live to become.

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endangered cougars?!? fact or fiction?

a german research company, max planck institute, released a study that says women who marry men younger than themselves die earlier than those who marry men their own age (within two years).

a woman in a relationship with a man seven to nine years younger than her is 20 percent more likely to die earlier than someone married to a man her own age.  a woman who weds someone more than 15 years younger than her, has more than a 30 percent risk.

“the greater the age difference, the lower the wife’s life expectancy,” says sven drefahl of the max planck institute for demographic research in germany. “the best choice for a woman is to marry a man of exactly the same age.”

drefahl believes having a relationship with a younger man may mean more stress for women because they are “violating social norms and thus suffer from social sanctions,” which could result in a more stressful life, he said.

by contrast, a man with a wife seven to nine years his junior is seven percent less likely to die early — probably because she’s more likely to nurse him in old age.  on the other hand, a younger man tends to be less inclined to look after his elderly wife.  “cougars” are more likely to be seen as predatory which, researchers suggest, may make it less likely for them to maintain friends and dependents.

do we believe this?  or is this just another male-dominated study trying to hate on “samantha jones” type women?

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is your young everybody’s young?

there’s a new “controversial” video leaked by TMZ this week showing a (then) 16-year old miley cyrus grinding and lap dancing against 44-year-old producer, adam shankman, at the wrap party for whatever movie she apparently did last year.  (if you haven’t seen the video click here)

ok let’s forget for a moment that shankman is GAY.  because let’s be real.  if you were a teenage girl who had a fake ID, lived near a decent-sized city and used to sneak out of the house to go dancing at whatever the hottest club that weekend was, you PROBABLY grinded against a 44-year-old gay man.  (what has 2 thumbs, a misspelled fake ID, and lived near tracks in southeast DC in the 90’s?  THIS GIRL)

but let’s pretend adam was a typical 44-year-old pervy old guy and this was the video.  is it that bad?  there’s obviously a lot of controversy concerning older men unable to keep their hands off of younger women ranging from r. kelly to, most recently, lawrence taylor.  and in those particular circumstances, the (alleged) actions were illegal and wrong.

but take an average 16-year-old girl who likes a 24-year-old guy.  is that wrong?  i know personally at the age of 14 i looked like ALL woman.  and by age of 16 i probably could have passed for a college sophomore or junior in both appearance and intellectual maturity.  so would it have been wrong of me to start dating and having a sexual relationship with a guy in his 20’s even though it’s technically illegal?

take miley cyrus out of the scenario completely, because hollywood likes to trick us into believing these girls are adults when we know that they are actually emotionally and intellectually stunted.  (britney spears is still a 14-year-old living in the body of a “woman” with 2 kids).  but let’s take a regular girl who grew up with parents who respected her, gave her responsibilities, and encouraged a healthy development for her.  if, at the age of 15, she were to say that a 30-year-old guy was the only person she could relate to, who are we to argue?

i need to know your thoughts.  what’s your “too young?”

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ramin setodeh is an idiot

and not just because his recent newsweek article about why he thinks gay actors aren’t believable as straight when they are out of the closet, is a bit self-hating (setodeh is gay).  but also because he clearly never bothered to do any research amongst the audience who cares the most – women.

neil patrick harris has been out of the closet for years, but never once have i taken him off of my “he could get it” list.  and to top it off, he was nominated for an emmy for being a womanizer on how i met your mother.  good acting is good acting, period.  and harris’ nomination is no less deserved than sean penn’s oscar for playing gay activist harvey milk.

i would never hate on a fellow writer for expressing their opinion, but i will hate on a fellow writer for trying to convince the american public that if george clooney ever came out of the closet, he would lose believability as a hearththrob straight character.  trust me – if clooney ever came out of the closet, women would still watch his moives and swoon and more women would want to bang him than ever before just in the hopes that their magical coochie would be the one to turn him back.

setodeh now has his back against the wall.  kristen chenoworth condemned setodeh and calls him “horribly homophobic” and “glee” creator ryan murphy is calling for a boycott of newsweek until setodeh apologizes.

my 2 cents…how did this article even get out.  who the hell still reads newsweek?

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is there somebody for everybody?

after reading this most disturbing story this weekend about  72-year old grandmother, Pearl Carter of Indiana, who is having her 26-year old biological grandson’s baby!  i first supressed to urge to immediately vomit, then began thinking about how many “bizarre” relationships are out there, and how do these people find one another?

when you see “unbalanced” or “odd” couples walking down the street your reaction is usually (particularly if you’re single) why and how?  but then in a way it gives you hope.  hope that there IS somebody for everybody and that you will find somebody too.

this was the case in the story of juan baptista dos santo and blanche dumas.

juan was born with two penises.  two fully functioning penises.  (and also a third leg, but when a man has two penises, are you really looking at his third leg?)  this man, who literally was a tripod, is said to have used BOTH penises during intercourse and after finishing with one he would continue with the other. he apparently also had an insatiable sexual appetite.

blanche dumas was believed to have been born on the island of martinique in 1860.  she also had a third leg (thank god for immunizations), and in addition to her two regular boobs, she had two extra tits right above her vagina!  or should i say vaginaS!  she had two vaginas, each of which had developed equal sensitivity.  EQUAL SENSITIVITY!

ladies, just imagine your orgasm squared.  i’ll give you a moment.

so juan and blanche met in paris, had a most amazing love affair, and each had finally found a partner to satisfy their sexual needs.

lesson?  actually there are two.  never give up on love and don’t be too quick to judge those “bizarre” couples.  because for them, they may have finally found the perfect “fit.”

to read more about dos santo and dumas, check out cogitz.com and YES there are pictures!

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