endangered cougars?!? fact or fiction?

a german research company, max planck institute, released a study that says women who marry men younger than themselves die earlier than those who marry men their own age (within two years).

a woman in a relationship with a man seven to nine years younger than her is 20 percent more likely to die earlier than someone married to a man her own age.  a woman who weds someone more than 15 years younger than her, has more than a 30 percent risk.

“the greater the age difference, the lower the wife’s life expectancy,” says sven drefahl of the max planck institute for demographic research in germany. “the best choice for a woman is to marry a man of exactly the same age.”

drefahl believes having a relationship with a younger man may mean more stress for women because they are “violating social norms and thus suffer from social sanctions,” which could result in a more stressful life, he said.

by contrast, a man with a wife seven to nine years his junior is seven percent less likely to die early — probably because she’s more likely to nurse him in old age.  on the other hand, a younger man tends to be less inclined to look after his elderly wife.  “cougars” are more likely to be seen as predatory which, researchers suggest, may make it less likely for them to maintain friends and dependents.

do we believe this?  or is this just another male-dominated study trying to hate on “samantha jones” type women?

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is your young everybody’s young?

there’s a new “controversial” video leaked by TMZ this week showing a (then) 16-year old miley cyrus grinding and lap dancing against 44-year-old producer, adam shankman, at the wrap party for whatever movie she apparently did last year.  (if you haven’t seen the video click here)

ok let’s forget for a moment that shankman is GAY.  because let’s be real.  if you were a teenage girl who had a fake ID, lived near a decent-sized city and used to sneak out of the house to go dancing at whatever the hottest club that weekend was, you PROBABLY grinded against a 44-year-old gay man.  (what has 2 thumbs, a misspelled fake ID, and lived near tracks in southeast DC in the 90’s?  THIS GIRL)

but let’s pretend adam was a typical 44-year-old pervy old guy and this was the video.  is it that bad?  there’s obviously a lot of controversy concerning older men unable to keep their hands off of younger women ranging from r. kelly to, most recently, lawrence taylor.  and in those particular circumstances, the (alleged) actions were illegal and wrong.

but take an average 16-year-old girl who likes a 24-year-old guy.  is that wrong?  i know personally at the age of 14 i looked like ALL woman.  and by age of 16 i probably could have passed for a college sophomore or junior in both appearance and intellectual maturity.  so would it have been wrong of me to start dating and having a sexual relationship with a guy in his 20’s even though it’s technically illegal?

take miley cyrus out of the scenario completely, because hollywood likes to trick us into believing these girls are adults when we know that they are actually emotionally and intellectually stunted.  (britney spears is still a 14-year-old living in the body of a “woman” with 2 kids).  but let’s take a regular girl who grew up with parents who respected her, gave her responsibilities, and encouraged a healthy development for her.  if, at the age of 15, she were to say that a 30-year-old guy was the only person she could relate to, who are we to argue?

i need to know your thoughts.  what’s your “too young?”

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ramin setodeh is an idiot

and not just because his recent newsweek article about why he thinks gay actors aren’t believable as straight when they are out of the closet, is a bit self-hating (setodeh is gay).  but also because he clearly never bothered to do any research amongst the audience who cares the most – women.

neil patrick harris has been out of the closet for years, but never once have i taken him off of my “he could get it” list.  and to top it off, he was nominated for an emmy for being a womanizer on how i met your mother.  good acting is good acting, period.  and harris’ nomination is no less deserved than sean penn’s oscar for playing gay activist harvey milk.

i would never hate on a fellow writer for expressing their opinion, but i will hate on a fellow writer for trying to convince the american public that if george clooney ever came out of the closet, he would lose believability as a hearththrob straight character.  trust me – if clooney ever came out of the closet, women would still watch his moives and swoon and more women would want to bang him than ever before just in the hopes that their magical coochie would be the one to turn him back.

setodeh now has his back against the wall.  kristen chenoworth condemned setodeh and calls him “horribly homophobic” and “glee” creator ryan murphy is calling for a boycott of newsweek until setodeh apologizes.

my 2 cents…how did this article even get out.  who the hell still reads newsweek?

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i apologize for the absence

but i have been living in a charger-less world for the past 2 days.  phones, laptops, everything without power.  it’s like i spent the weekend in the 1800s.  horrible.  but i should be back tonight with many juicy tales ranging from the mouse who didn’t quit, the (almost) perfect one night stand, revenge on the ex, and much, much more.

stay tuned…

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shameless quote of the day

the fact that courtney love usually says the things i’m thinking is sometimes a terrifying thought (especially if you’ve ever read her tweets).  but she is my soulmate, and i will always and forever love that crazy bitch.  and her interview with music journalist toure was another reason i believe we were siamese twins separated at birth.

after claiming on “the howard stern show” that she had an affair with gavin rossdale after he married gwen stefani, c. love told toure the reason she’s a love goddess is “because i was never pretty.  pretty girls just lie there.  us girls who grew up a little more homely have to try a lot harder.  that’s why pretty girls never threaten me — it’s like, yeah, you want to take me on? take me on. go for it.”

truer words have never come from the over-inflated lips of a methface blowup doll look-a-like.  super hot people can’t fuck.  if you’ve never had a flaw, you’ve never had to work for anything.  the stereotype that fat girls give good head is a stereotype because it’s true.  fat girls give good head.  an ugly guy who walks up to a girl with enough confidence to think he can take her home that night, is because he has a huge dick.  because a guy with a jacked up grill would never talk to a woman with such confidence if he didn’t have a big dick!

this is why you will never see me chasing brad pitt or leo dicaprio down the street.  give me a benicio del toro or seal any day of the week.

(via pagesix)

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you’re fat, ugly and probably gay. thank you facebook for letting me know.

i was against facebook for months, possibly years.  i was convinced that i would be a die-hard myspacer for life.  but once myspace turned into a haven for child fuckers and people with names like “Yu AyNt GiMMe WaT iWaNtEd SoO He WiLL” and “A_MAN_WIT_A_GUNN” who were requesting my friendship, i decided i’d had enough and joined the world of the late 20 to early 30 somethings.

i was late to the game and most everybody i knew had already joined so i decided to let my gmail account autosearch to find and pick out the people in my life to be my friends.  there was 1 person, however, i had mixed emotions about requesting.  he was a guy i had dated briefly soon after i moved to new york.  he bruised my ego and introduced me swiftly to the “new york man.”  actually there are several types of the “new york man” but he fell into the category of the guy who pursues the hell out of you initially and then kicks you to the curb once you let your guard down.  you’re left to hopelessly ponder “why?”  it’s a very ego-deflating and pride-crushing type of relationship.

to most, the obvious answer would be to never let a guy like that back into my life, especially through facebook where every single detail about his career and romantic relationships would be on full display for me to see.  but the problem with this type of guy, is that because i never got an answer as to why the relationship ended, i’m obsessed with knowing.  even if it means becoming his friend on facebook.  so i sent the request.

he didn’t accept my request right away, but that’s to be expected of a guy like that.  funny thing is, by him NOT accepting my request, he would look like he still cared, so because of his catch-22, i was accepted.

i got the request while i was out drinking with a friend one night.  i was so excited at the prospect of being able to stalk my ex, i could hardly wait to get home.  sure, i could have used my phone to get online and stalked him right there, but i felt this particular stalking deserved my undivided attention on a proper laptop.

i’m not sure what i expected to find.  usually when one snoops, they inevitably end up either hurt, disappointed or both.  i experienced an entirely different set of emotions.  confusion and elation.

he was ugly.  and fatter.  and for a second i thought, possibly gay.  did he always look about this way?  had i been blinded by my lust? or had facebook allowed me to live out the fantasy that so many jilted lovers dream about?  the ability to say HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

was it mature of me?  no.  but is facebook itself really mature?  it’s a giant toy for people to brag about things in their life, announce upcoming events and stalk others.  nothing more.  10 years ago if i had broken up with this guy, i would only get to fantasize about one day running in to him wearing my 4 inch heels, hair blowing in the wind, looking nonchalantly expensive and hot while buying a cup of coffee.

with facebook, i can just post that pic in his feed.

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life of the singledame: chapter 427

there are very specific times when i hate being single.

during holidays (HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!!!!  I’M WASTED AND WANNA BANG SOMEONE I’M ACTUALLY ATTRACTED TO! )

when everyone around me is in a relationship  (LAUREN, KIA AND I ARE GOING TO DINNER WITH JASON, CHRIS AND STEVE.  WANNA GO?)

and the WORST time to be single is when you have to kill something.  this is my horrific tale.

i decided to be an “adult” last night.  came home, did some yoga ball exercises, put dinner in the oven and started washing dishes.  all of these activities made me feel empowered, independent and like a true grown up.  and then it happened.

out from under the oven a tiny mouse scampers across my kitchen floor.

i did what any empowered, independent, grown ass woman would do.  screamed at the top of my lungs, ran to my bedroom and locked the door.

i endure horrible cramps every month.  i’ve changed the tire on a 6000 pound SUV, i even own a toolbox that handymen have told me they were jealous of.  but when it comes to bugs and rodents, i turn into a useless ball of goo, that runs and hides under the covers.  literally.

these weaknesses, however, are necessary because it’s important for a guy to be able to do things you can’t.  there’s no denying that the caveman “me: tarzan, you: jane, i take care of you” attitude is a major turn on.  no girl wants to be with a guy who she thinks can’t protect her.

and a sidenote to you guys.  i don’t care if you are with the strongest, most independent, scariest, loudest, no-nonsense bitch out there.  don’t take for granted that even she wants you to man up on those things that boys “should” do.  so even if things that  scare your girl, scare you just as much, if not more.  i suggest you fake it and fake it well, or she will find someone who can.

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