Tag Archives: personal

these 4 inch heels were not made for walking…but that’s just what they did

you may remember i had a wedding to go to this weekend. and, as with all weddings i go to, i had one goal…to have great sex with a cute boy in a suit. did i win? yes! and let me add this may have been my favorite walk of shame of all time.

i was wearing a very boobalicious dress that had a band of black sequins underneath, fishnet stockings, 4-inch purple peep-toe crocodile heels and a vintage mink stole. i know it sounds like a sort of slutty-rific outfit for a wedding, but it was that kind of party.

making my walk of shame at 11 am on a sunday morning in 4 inch purple heels and an evening dress, was enough to make it the best walk, but when i got back to my apartment and went to open the door, my landlord was on the other side coming out. now that made my day. getting busted by the landlord! icing on the cake (especially since my landlord is a hottie)

i’ve added pics of parts of my outfit above so you can laugh at me.

oh, and bonus! i got to cross off one of the items on my sex bucket list: i got to give a guy head in the backseat of a cab.

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Filed under the walk of fame, wedding sex

mirena is for the responsible only

i forget to take the pill all the time. i start out strong as a sunday starter, but by friday i’m usually doubling up on my missed dose. i thought the best way to fix this was to get the new IUD – mirena. it’s birth control that lasts for up to 5 years and it’s much safer than the IUD’s of the past.

so i go to my gyno, thinking this will just be an easy breezy process. i thought i would make an appointment, the doc would have the device there, they would put it in, and i could go about my sporadic sex life. WRONG. i discovered the appointment was really just a consultation. here is how the convo between my doc and i went down:

doc: “so are you in a monogamous relationship?”

me: “ummm…well i’m definitely sleeping with pretty much one guy, but i don’t know who his girlfriend might be banging on the side.”

doctor looks at me

me: “no, just kidding” (even though i wasn’t) “yea, it’s just the one guy”

doc: “ok well let me explain the possible side effects. you may experience some irregular bleeding in between periods, but a lot of women stop their period all together”

me: “AWESOME”

doc: “and you may experience some severe lower back pain in the beginning”

me: “uh huh”

doc: “we would have to schedule it during your next menstrual cycle as the device is put in during your period”

me: “interesting”

doc: “and if you accidentally get pregnant while on it, you will probably not have a choice on whether you want to keep it or not (meaning bye bye baby) and if you contract an std such as chlamydia or gonorrhea, you may be permanently sterile.”

me: silence

doc: “and it’s $499 bucks and insurance doesn’t yet cover it. should we schedule your appointment?”

ok that last part didn’t really come out of her, but i did later discover that truth when i contacted my insurance company. the bottom line is, unless you are in a totally committed relationship (where the guy can pay for half) then i suggest just staying on the pill and using condoms when you forget. mirena is definitely the “adult” birth control, and i’m just not there yet.

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searching for mr. vibe

i just moved and as i was unpacking i discovered all these vibrators that i had completely forgotten about. at first i was ecstatic. it’s like putting on that coat you haven’t worn since last winter and finding 20 bucks in the pocket. but my moment of elation was short lived when i realized why these sex toys had been forgotten. they sucked.

if one were to go through my collection, they would think i was somewhat of a nympho (which isn’t necessarily untrue.) however, i have one tried, tested and true vibrator and that is my one and only.

the first vibrator i bought was the hitachi magic wand and the only reason i don’t have it today is because i literally wore it to the bone. but instead of buying another one, i wanted to see what else the world of sex toys had to offer. i purchased things that looked like dolphins and rabbits; things that were pink and glittery and shiny and pearl colored; and they ALL disappointed me and became banished to the useless sex toy box.

i finally found love in the gallant http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-slimline/gallant-assorted-colors (mine is red) not saying it would be the best vibrator for all, but it’s been my best friend. he actually took a little work getting used to, but now we understand each other.

i’ve recently been considering another purchase – the sasi http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-premium/sasi-vibrator-by-babeland i’ve seen it, tried it, played with it, even had a personal one on one with one of the babeland instructors who came to my show. but i’m still hesitant. if the past has taught me anything it’s that you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. but if that prince has adjustable speeds and can give me head like i’ve never had, then i guess he was worth the trouble.

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Filed under oversexed & underserved, vibrators