one of the great parts of being single is how many things all the single women out there have in common. there are two things that i believe most of the singledames (new term and i’m claiming it) would absolutely relate to me on:
a) our vibrators are never far from our reach in bed, if not directly under our pillow, and
b) since sex isn’t always a guarantee, we will bang all night when it does come around, and we love the feeling of being awakened by a rock hard penis poking us and saying he’s ready to go again.
these two singledame similarities led to a funny story that i felt i should share with you, even if just for a cheap laugh.
so i had been out in the city eating and boozing it up and was hoping for a possible booty call. to my dismay the booty call did not come through so i cabbed it back home where i knew there were two definites waiting for me – a haagen dazs ice cream bar and “big red” my faithful dildo.
after all was said and done, big red took his spot in the bed and i passed out.
that night i was having strange dreams and a rather restless sleep that keep me tossing and turning. around 3 AM i went to re-position and HELLO that familiar rock hard poke had found its way just slightly between my butt cheeks. for a moment i was completely turned on and even remembering smiling to myself at the prospect of having middle of the night sex. but that joy turned to sheer terror as i thought “WHO THE HELL IS IN MY BED?!” so i quickly turned around to find out if i had drank more than i thought and wasn’t alone in that cab ride, and TA DA, instant relief, as i discovered the man looking for a quickie in the middle of the night was just good ol’ big red.
what a cheeky bastard he is.
i just moved and as i was unpacking i discovered all these vibrators that i had completely forgotten about. at first i was ecstatic. it’s like putting on that coat you haven’t worn since last winter and finding 20 bucks in the pocket. but my moment of elation was short lived when i realized why these sex toys had been forgotten. they sucked.
if one were to go through my collection, they would think i was somewhat of a nympho (which isn’t necessarily untrue.) however, i have one tried, tested and true vibrator and that is my one and only.
the first vibrator i bought was the hitachi magic wand and the only reason i don’t have it today is because i literally wore it to the bone. but instead of buying another one, i wanted to see what else the world of sex toys had to offer. i purchased things that looked like dolphins and rabbits; things that were pink and glittery and shiny and pearl colored; and they ALL disappointed me and became banished to the useless sex toy box.
i finally found love in the gallant http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-slimline/gallant-assorted-colors (mine is red) not saying it would be the best vibrator for all, but it’s been my best friend. he actually took a little work getting used to, but now we understand each other.
i’ve recently been considering another purchase – the sasi http://store.babeland.com/vibrators-premium/sasi-vibrator-by-babeland i’ve seen it, tried it, played with it, even had a personal one on one with one of the babeland instructors who came to my show. but i’m still hesitant. if the past has taught me anything it’s that you may have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. but if that prince has adjustable speeds and can give me head like i’ve never had, then i guess he was worth the trouble.